Right Ho, Jeeves

My sister, Chantelle, recommended to me the book "Right Ho, Jeeves" by P.G. Wodehouse. Classic British humor. Loved it!! Any main character with a name of Bertram Wooster who signs off his telegraphs with a "Cheerio," "Toodle-oo," or a "Tinkerty-tonk" had my complete adoration! It had many great conversations.

'I've been through hell, Bertie.'

'Through where?'

'Hell.'

'Oh, hell. What took you there?'

I think he's great! It was a fun and unconventional read.

Not Her Number One Fan

I like American Idol. But.

I think it is sheer torture anytime Megan Joy takes the stage.

I really hate her with a vengance!

I think she is absolutely a train wreck.

The only thing worse for me would be an

encore performace by Anoop singing "My Perogative."

Uhh. I couldn't take it.

I just may have to give up AI if it continues. I honestly couldn't even pay attention to the theatre boy, Adam's singing because of his wacked out normal appearance. I had to have Tim rewind and play it again so I could get over my shock of his appearance. I should just stick to books.

It Must Be Spring!

FINALLY!!! Being outside feels so nice!

This was our Family Home Evening on Monday:

This is our favorite spring FHE. Flying kites & playing at the park!

Megan loves the park! I think she loves being with her crazy brother & sister the best, though!

Yep, spring is in the air. Alec is getting sillier & sillier.

Celebrity Photo Shoot

On Wednesday, my ward had a "Mad Hatter Birthtea Party" and everyone was invited to wear their hats. It was so great!! I had a lot of fun! We also had Brooke Walker from Studio 5 on KSL come speak to us. She was very fun and motivating, too. So here's the girls from my ward with Brooke in the middle.

I love these ladies! It has been such fun to get to know them. They continually make me laugh and feel better about myself as a stay at home mom. Thanks for being my friends!

-Oh, and my Aretha Franklin hat got rave reviews. Uh huh.

Toys for Moms...

We've upgraded the laundry room.

We found a great deal, and got a new washer & dryer!

Tim's sister, Tamara came over the other day, and Tim says to me,

"Did you show her your new toys?"

I thought that was funny. But how come my new "toys"

still feel like work to me?

No, Virginia, Santa will not be bringing you a Tattoo Barbie

Speaking of the NBA and their quirky sense of style, here's the newest Barbie released. Butterfly "Tattoo Barbie."

That's right. Barbie is helping to make this more socially acceptable, because it's plain to see that we need more tattoos.

I found this article written by Bill Haltom in 2001.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. But he's not going to be bringing you a Tattoo Barbie for Christmas.

I'm the proud father of a beautiful six-year-old girl, Her Royal Highness, the Princess. The Princess has one of the world's largest collections of Barbie dolls. She is the proud owner of Ballerina Barbie, Prom Queen Barbie, Cheerleader Barbie, Beauty Queen Barbie, Astrophysics Professor Barbie, Neurosurgeon Barbie, Veterinarian Barbie, Attorney General Barbie, and Proctologist Barbie. Each of her Barbies lives in a bookcase in the Princess' bedroom. They are all stacked (so to speak) along the bookcase, side-by-side, and they are absolutely naked. You read that right. Naked as a Jaybird Barbie.

Since I am a daddy, and life-long member of the male gender, I have never been a little girl. A very long time ago, I was once a little boy, but I didn't own any Barbie dolls. I didn't even own a Ken doll. But having observed the Princess and other little girls playing with Barbie dolls over the years, I can tell you that if you give a little girl a Barbie doll, within minutes the little girl will take off all of Barbie's clothes. Each Barbie comes with a very expensive wardrobe. After all, if you are a 10 inch tall plastic woman with the scale equivalent of a 40 inch bust and a 20 inch waist, you need your own special wardrobe. But despite the fact that your typical Barbie has more clothes than Nancy Reagan and Imelda Marcos combined, little girls quickly remove Barbie's clothes and leave Barbie buck nekkid, as we say in the South.

Each and every Barbie on the Princess' bookshelf is wearing nothing but a smile and her birthday suit. It's a regular Barbie nudist camp. No wonder Ken is always smiling.

But recently, newspapers across the country ran stories indicating that even Nekkid Barbie would soon be wearing something other than a smile. The newest Barbie would be wearing (are you ready for this?) … a tattoo! News reports last week indicated that the Mattel Toy Company, the manufacturer of Barbie, had designed the newest Barbie, Tattoo Barbie. This lovely new Barbie featured a tattooed dragon running down her back.

When I first heard the news about Tattoo Barbie, I was absolutely devastated. You see, I'm an old-fashioned daddy, and I just can't get used to a world in which women wear tattoos and men wear earrings. When I first heard the news about Tattoo Barbie, I was very concerned that in a couple of weeks I would take the Princess to the fake North Pole in a suburban shopping mall. There she would climb up on Santa's lap, tell him that she had been such a good little girl this year, and ask him to bring her a Tattoo Barbie for Christmas.

Well, fellow old-fashioned daddies, fear not! I bring you good tidings of great joy! Santa will not be bringing Tattoo Barbie down the chimney this year for my princess, your princess, or any little girl in America. Neither the Mattel Company nor Santa's elves have any plans whatsoever to produce Tattoo Barbie.

In fact, according to my research, there is apparently only one Tattoo Barbie in the entire world. She lives in Hong Kong, where she was invented by a design student at the Hong Kong Polytechnic University who was assigned to come up with a "new look for Barbie." While the design for Tattoo Barbie was submitted to Mattel, the toy manufacturer decided not to manufacture this "new look Barbie." Well, that's a relief. If Christmas 2001 brought us Tattoo Barbie, what could Christmas 2002 bring? Tongue-Ring Barbie? Safety-Pin-Eyelid Barbie? Reduced Mammaries Barbie? Why it's enough to wipe the smile off Ken's plastic face.

Well here's a quick letter from Daddy to Santa:

Dear Santa, My Princess has been a very good girl this year. On Christmas eve, please bring her Dermatologist Barbie, a beautiful new Barbie featuring clean, unmarked skin. And don't bother with the wardrobe. See you Christmas eve!

Your financier, the Princess' Daddy.

Previous columns from Bill Haltom are also available on TBALink. Go there now.

I have to agree with Bill. No, Virginia, Santa will not be bringing you a Tattoo Barbie.

Punky Brewster NBA Fashion

Tim & I went to a Jazz Basketball game last week for his birthday. It was great, they totally smashed Atlanta, it was just a fun time. I couldn't help but wonder at some of the players' sense of fashion, though. I know, I know, they are braces and such, but come on!! I think I figured out who has inspired them to do the things they do.

Yes, Punky Brewster.

You have to love her as a kid, but in the NBA, I'm not so sure.

I guess if you are getting paid millions of dollars to do something you love, you can wear whatever you want...